Jagged Little Pill, Alanis Morissette (September 13, 1995)
YOU OUGHTA KNOW that ALL I REALLY WANT is for you to be HEAD OVER FEET as YOU LEARN about this PERFECT album. I will see RIGHT THROUGH YOU and you will not be FORGIVEN if you do not WAKE UP and realize that this is one of the greatest albums of all time. If you disagree, I may not be able to restrain myself from strangling you should I see you in public. I would be so mad at you that I would probably be able to strangle you with one HAND IN MY POCKET. Even though you have never been hospitalized in your entire life, you would immediately realize how IRONIC it is that the hospital staff just went on strike for the first time in the hospital's history. You would end up being taken care of by a woman named MARY JANE who would only offer you one measly Jagged Little Pill to alleviate the pain. She would still be at the hospital and not on strike because she is simply an elderly volunteer greeter, NOT THE DOCTOR.
If you do not understand what I just did there, then feel free to stop reading this post, and or, being my friend.
Jagged Little Pill has sold over 33 million albums worldwide since its release 18 years ago, making it the best selling album of the nineties. (Shania Twain's Come on Over has sold 37 million copies, but since it was released in the latter part of the nineties, I believe that a significant portion of that 37 million was sold in the 2000's.) 33 million albums places Jagged Little Pill at number 11 on the list of the best selling albums of all time. Pill was nominated for nine Grammys, and won five. It is often referred to as one of the greatest female rock albums of all time.
I am not an angry, or violent person in any way, however, nothing tends to make me more irate than the God-awful countdowns that Rolling Stone magazine releases; well, maybe a non elimination episode of The Amazing Race, but I digress. In 2012 Rolling Stone released a list of Women in Rock; the 50 Greatest Female Rock Albums of all Time. Jagged Little Pill landed at number 50 on their list. FIFTY!!!!!!!!!!! I am not sure who was in charge of that ridiculous countdown, but rest assure that somebody probably got fired at Rolling Stone headquarters for all of the nasty tweets and message board comments that I could not stop myself from sending. One of my life goals is to get a job at Rolling Stone and revising every countdown they have ever done.
While I do hold a very special place in my heart for despising any form of feminism, Alanis Morissette made the impossible a reality. An album centered on woman's rage, girl power, and, you guessed it, FEMINISM, has stood the test of time, and, 18 years after its release, remains one of my favorites of all time.
Alanis, and co-writer/producer Glen Ballard pounded out Jagged Little Pill in record timing. The vocals for every track on the album was recorded in one or two tracks, which is quite impressive.
One Star Songs *
Yeah, right.
Two Star Songs **
Nothing to see here folks.
Three Star Songs ***
Right Through You
Mary Jane
Wake Up
All three of these songs would be solid tracks on any other female rock album, but for me, they all get lost in the shuffle amidst the rest of the gems on the album.
Four Star Songs ****
Hand in My Pocket - In all the years I have been singing along to songs, I can not recall more of a satisfying feeling than completely nailing the random lyrics to this beautiful song. I always remember what Alanis' first hand is doing, its in her pocket. But that other damn hand is always doing something crazy. The following are the things Alanis' "other hand" is doing, and the likelihood that you will catch yours truly doing that same thing with my free hand that is not in my pocket.
* Giving a high five - Ok, I get it, I am a high five guy myself Alanis. You will often find one of my hands giving a high five. You may even see BOTH of my hands giving a high five AT THE SAME TIME; especially if I have had a few brews. A select few have even had the honor of witnessing one of my hands giving my other hand a high five (this tends to only happen if I tell a hysterical joke and nobody laughs, or if I bowl a strike while all of my friends are busy texting and paying zero attention to me.) Odds of seeing my hand give a high five: 100%
* Flicking a cigarette (Side Note: I just realize that the word cigarette is simply the word "cigar" with an "ette" at the end. Why have I gone over thirty years without realizing that?) Sorry, Alanis, as cool as flicking a cigarette looks, I am a non smoker and you will not be finding either of my hands flicking a cigarette anytime soon. Odds of seeing my hand flick a cigarette: 1%
* Giving a Peace Sign - I LOVE giving the peace sign, but I can only do it in certain situations for fear of judgement. The peace sign is not everyone's cup of tea. The place you will find me giving a peace sign most often is while driving. For whatever reason, when I am driving and I see someone I know, I tend to flash a peace sign. It just seems like such a cool thing to do while driving, and I often wonder if the recipient of my peaceful gesture wishes that they, too, simply flashed a peace sign rather than nearly drive off the road while frantically waving to me. Odds of seeing my hand giving the peace sign: 80%
* Playing the Piano - What may be a little known fact about me is that I have been known to tickle the ivory every now and then. I own a piano, and played it for years when I was a lad. Of course I haven't played in a long time, and my baby grand is at my parents house, but don't be shocked if you hear this guy belting out "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" at Mama and Papa Jacobson's house this coming holiday season. Odds of seeing my hand playing the piano: 50%
* Hailing a Taxi Cab - Another little known fact about me if that I whole heartily hate hailing taxi cabs. (Did you catch the use of alliteration there?) I get so embarrassed when I am hailing a taxi cab and the cab driver ignores me, or is already trotting another lazy customer through the streets. I tend to chill in the background whilst my companions attempt to get us to where we are going (fine, a bar. We're more than likely going to a bar.) I do, however, end up lost or separated from my homies quite often, or find myself traveling alone, and have no choice but to endure the humiliation of failing at getting the attention of a cab driver, so this hand, could be seen, although begrudgingly, hailing a taxi cab. Odds of seeing my hand hail a taxi cab: 30%******
****** for all you international readers, I live in Westerly, Rhode Island where there is exactly ONE taxi cab, and they are the worst cab service in the entire world. In fact, you can not even hail it. You must call them at (401) 596-TAXI. They may be my least favorite company of all time, as they are either an hour or more past the time you requested service, or completely fail to show up at all. Feel free to call them should be feel the need to practice your prank phone calls. Tell them ryanscdoftheday sent ya!
Other 4 Star Songs....
Not the Doctor - TRUST ME Alanis, I never thought you were. Not even for a second. I would rather get my yearly physical from Dr. Jack Kevorkian than entrust Alanis Morissette M.D. But killer jam nevertheless.
Perfect - Despite the rumors, this song is not about me being flawless. It is about a set of the worst parents in the world telling their children that they will "love them just the way they are, if they're perfect." Every time I hear this song I think of the parents of just about every Olympic Gymnast ever. Especially the little Chinese girls. Don't they like exile the girls if they so much as stumble on the balance beam?
* This song was written in TWENTY minutes and Morissette improvised the lyrics on the spot. Crazy stuff.
All I Really Want - All Alanis really wants is a bunch of ridiculous, abstract, for lack of a better word, shit. A wavelength? Seriously Alanis, you want a wavelength??? What does that even mean?
Anyway this song is responsible for two of my most classic go-to jokes.....
All I Really Want hysterical joke #1 - Any time anybody has something on backwards, and or, inside out (and yes, I taught forth grade for years, so this happens WAY more than one would originally think) this is the conversation that takes place....
Ryan: "Whoa!! You are stressing me out!!!
Butt of the joke: "What?? Why?"
Ryan: Your (fill in the blank)***** is on backwards and inside out.
Ryan: How appropriate.
Most people don't get it, then I have to explain it is the opening lyrics from Jagged Little Pill, but I get it and think it is drop dead funny, and that is all that matters. ***** this joke works BEST when the backwards/inside article of clothing is a sweater, but it can certainly work with anything.
All I Really Want hysterical joke #2 - About halfway through the song Alanis switches gears and is sick of talking about all the stupid things she wants. She sings "Enough about me. Lets talk about you for a minute. Enough about you, lets talk about life for a while."
I don't use this joke nearly enough as I should, however, it was certainly a staple of mine back in the day. When I find myself rambling on and on about myself, I will say "enough about me, lets talk about you for a minute."
Now, here is the key to the joke... IMMEDIATELY when the person starts to talk about themselves, I scream "ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LETS TALK ABOUT LIFE FOR A WHILE."
I can not think of anything funnier than that.
In conclusion, thank you for some of the greatest moments of my life, "All I Really Want."
5 Star Songs *****
Head Over Feet - This catchy track is coupled with what I believe to be one of the worst videos of all time. This video makes Sinead O'Connor's video for "Nothing Compares to You" look like a Steven Spielberg blockbuster. The song, however, is just enough to compensate for this stupid, pointless video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iuO49jbovg
You Learn - One of my favorite sayings I use with my students, and in my own life is, "you live, you learn."
There is a line Alanis uses in which she preaches "you laugh, you learn." Well, this is my problem. In the eleven years I have been a teacher I have probably attended over 300 meetings (faculty, parent meetings, special ed meetings etc.) I have probably been caught laughing in just about all of them. I get in trouble, or get the evil eye every time, but I can't help it. I never learn my lesson of the inappropriateness of laughing at meetings, but I have accepted it as part of who I am, an fortunately most of my co-workers and bosses have realized that it is a lost cause and have simply learned to ignore me.
You Oughta Know - Yes this song has been rumored to be about Dave Coulier (Uncle Joey) from Full House. He admitted it, and Alanis admitted it (but later denied her confession and pleaded the fifth.)
Regardless of who it is about, simply put, it may be the greatest female song of all time. Her ability to use her voice as a weapon is electrifying You can hear the hate in her voice and imagine the things she is capable of doing. Alanis makes the girl from Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" look like little miss sunshine. Yes, ma'am thank you for reminding me of the mess I left when I went away. Now please leave me alone before I call the cops on your face.
Regardless of the nightmares you get after watching this video, the track is pure gold and the fact that Dave Navarro and Flea play the guitar and bass just adds to the debate for this being the best of all time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY
Ironic - Being an English teacher for years, I often considered using this song when teaching irony. The thing is, the examples Alanis gives, is not, technically irony. How ironic is that?
There are many critics out there that can not get over Alanis' false grammatical accusations. I, however, could not care any less. Alanis was not intending to teach us what irony was, she was simply having fun with a unique concept. Anyone that gets their panties in a bunch because it is not technically ironic if it simply "rained on someone's wedding day" can get a life.
This was by far Alanis' most successful and popular song, and catapulted her to super-stardom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jne9t8sHpUc
Forgiven - I often ask myself what my favorite track on Jagged Little Pill is. Yes, often. If I took a poll of myself asking myself that question every day for a year, I am pretty sure that the winner would be "Forgiven." It was never released as a single, and I like it that way. I never had the chance to tire of it (except maybe when I played it 65 times in a row.)
"You know how us Catholic girls can be..."
Yes, Alanis, I do know. I went to a Catholic school for nine years, and I can assure you I know all too well how Catholic girls can be. Crazy. They can be absolute crazy lunatics, just like you. (No offense to any Catholic girls. I am a Catholic boy that even just visited the Vatican in Italy. Yes, mom, I did have a few beers while waiting outside of the Vatican, and you were not too happy about that, but that is neither here nor there.)
If this song doesn't make you feel some sort of emotion then you better check your pulse, because you might be dead.
It scares me, it pumps me up, it makes me think I'm crazy, it makes me love Alanis, it makes me love religion, it makes me love music, and it makes me happy to be alive. It is loud, abrasive, its in-your-face rock, and I often consider it to be my favorite female song of all time. And I loved Wilson Phillips. And Tiffany. A Lot.
Not only is "Forgiven" probably my favorite female song of all time, but for 18 years straight I have answered the following question with only one answer....
Question from curious music lover: "Ryan, what is your favorite note in music history."
Ryan: "Thank you for asking fellow music lover. The answer is quite simple... It is from Alanis Morissette's "Forgiven" and it comes near the end of the song. It goes a little something like this.... (I'm singing now, of course.)
"What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be Forgivennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
That "Forgiven" my friends, is my favorite note in music history. And I don't care how ridiculous you think that is. That will be my answer. Every day. Every time. Maybe for the rest of my life. Should it change, I will be the first to share it with all of you.
LISTEN TO THIS SONG.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDVcGKWkmLU
For those of you that are SOOOOOOOOOO busy and do not have the 5 minutes to listen to this song, the part you may be looking for is 2:43 - 3:06 (with the actual note beginning at 2:59 and ending at 3:06)
All hail Jagged Little Pill
If you do not understand what I just did there, then feel free to stop reading this post, and or, being my friend.
Jagged Little Pill has sold over 33 million albums worldwide since its release 18 years ago, making it the best selling album of the nineties. (Shania Twain's Come on Over has sold 37 million copies, but since it was released in the latter part of the nineties, I believe that a significant portion of that 37 million was sold in the 2000's.) 33 million albums places Jagged Little Pill at number 11 on the list of the best selling albums of all time. Pill was nominated for nine Grammys, and won five. It is often referred to as one of the greatest female rock albums of all time.
I am not an angry, or violent person in any way, however, nothing tends to make me more irate than the God-awful countdowns that Rolling Stone magazine releases; well, maybe a non elimination episode of The Amazing Race, but I digress. In 2012 Rolling Stone released a list of Women in Rock; the 50 Greatest Female Rock Albums of all Time. Jagged Little Pill landed at number 50 on their list. FIFTY!!!!!!!!!!! I am not sure who was in charge of that ridiculous countdown, but rest assure that somebody probably got fired at Rolling Stone headquarters for all of the nasty tweets and message board comments that I could not stop myself from sending. One of my life goals is to get a job at Rolling Stone and revising every countdown they have ever done.
While I do hold a very special place in my heart for despising any form of feminism, Alanis Morissette made the impossible a reality. An album centered on woman's rage, girl power, and, you guessed it, FEMINISM, has stood the test of time, and, 18 years after its release, remains one of my favorites of all time.
Alanis, and co-writer/producer Glen Ballard pounded out Jagged Little Pill in record timing. The vocals for every track on the album was recorded in one or two tracks, which is quite impressive.
One Star Songs *
Yeah, right.
Two Star Songs **
Nothing to see here folks.
Three Star Songs ***
Right Through You
Mary Jane
Wake Up
All three of these songs would be solid tracks on any other female rock album, but for me, they all get lost in the shuffle amidst the rest of the gems on the album.
Four Star Songs ****
Hand in My Pocket - In all the years I have been singing along to songs, I can not recall more of a satisfying feeling than completely nailing the random lyrics to this beautiful song. I always remember what Alanis' first hand is doing, its in her pocket. But that other damn hand is always doing something crazy. The following are the things Alanis' "other hand" is doing, and the likelihood that you will catch yours truly doing that same thing with my free hand that is not in my pocket.
* Giving a high five - Ok, I get it, I am a high five guy myself Alanis. You will often find one of my hands giving a high five. You may even see BOTH of my hands giving a high five AT THE SAME TIME; especially if I have had a few brews. A select few have even had the honor of witnessing one of my hands giving my other hand a high five (this tends to only happen if I tell a hysterical joke and nobody laughs, or if I bowl a strike while all of my friends are busy texting and paying zero attention to me.) Odds of seeing my hand give a high five: 100%
* Flicking a cigarette (Side Note: I just realize that the word cigarette is simply the word "cigar" with an "ette" at the end. Why have I gone over thirty years without realizing that?) Sorry, Alanis, as cool as flicking a cigarette looks, I am a non smoker and you will not be finding either of my hands flicking a cigarette anytime soon. Odds of seeing my hand flick a cigarette: 1%
* Giving a Peace Sign - I LOVE giving the peace sign, but I can only do it in certain situations for fear of judgement. The peace sign is not everyone's cup of tea. The place you will find me giving a peace sign most often is while driving. For whatever reason, when I am driving and I see someone I know, I tend to flash a peace sign. It just seems like such a cool thing to do while driving, and I often wonder if the recipient of my peaceful gesture wishes that they, too, simply flashed a peace sign rather than nearly drive off the road while frantically waving to me. Odds of seeing my hand giving the peace sign: 80%
* Playing the Piano - What may be a little known fact about me is that I have been known to tickle the ivory every now and then. I own a piano, and played it for years when I was a lad. Of course I haven't played in a long time, and my baby grand is at my parents house, but don't be shocked if you hear this guy belting out "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" at Mama and Papa Jacobson's house this coming holiday season. Odds of seeing my hand playing the piano: 50%
* Hailing a Taxi Cab - Another little known fact about me if that I whole heartily hate hailing taxi cabs. (Did you catch the use of alliteration there?) I get so embarrassed when I am hailing a taxi cab and the cab driver ignores me, or is already trotting another lazy customer through the streets. I tend to chill in the background whilst my companions attempt to get us to where we are going (fine, a bar. We're more than likely going to a bar.) I do, however, end up lost or separated from my homies quite often, or find myself traveling alone, and have no choice but to endure the humiliation of failing at getting the attention of a cab driver, so this hand, could be seen, although begrudgingly, hailing a taxi cab. Odds of seeing my hand hail a taxi cab: 30%******
****** for all you international readers, I live in Westerly, Rhode Island where there is exactly ONE taxi cab, and they are the worst cab service in the entire world. In fact, you can not even hail it. You must call them at (401) 596-TAXI. They may be my least favorite company of all time, as they are either an hour or more past the time you requested service, or completely fail to show up at all. Feel free to call them should be feel the need to practice your prank phone calls. Tell them ryanscdoftheday sent ya!
Other 4 Star Songs....
Not the Doctor - TRUST ME Alanis, I never thought you were. Not even for a second. I would rather get my yearly physical from Dr. Jack Kevorkian than entrust Alanis Morissette M.D. But killer jam nevertheless.
Perfect - Despite the rumors, this song is not about me being flawless. It is about a set of the worst parents in the world telling their children that they will "love them just the way they are, if they're perfect." Every time I hear this song I think of the parents of just about every Olympic Gymnast ever. Especially the little Chinese girls. Don't they like exile the girls if they so much as stumble on the balance beam?
* This song was written in TWENTY minutes and Morissette improvised the lyrics on the spot. Crazy stuff.
All I Really Want - All Alanis really wants is a bunch of ridiculous, abstract, for lack of a better word, shit. A wavelength? Seriously Alanis, you want a wavelength??? What does that even mean?
Anyway this song is responsible for two of my most classic go-to jokes.....
All I Really Want hysterical joke #1 - Any time anybody has something on backwards, and or, inside out (and yes, I taught forth grade for years, so this happens WAY more than one would originally think) this is the conversation that takes place....
Ryan: "Whoa!! You are stressing me out!!!
Butt of the joke: "What?? Why?"
Ryan: Your (fill in the blank)***** is on backwards and inside out.
Ryan: How appropriate.
Most people don't get it, then I have to explain it is the opening lyrics from Jagged Little Pill, but I get it and think it is drop dead funny, and that is all that matters. ***** this joke works BEST when the backwards/inside article of clothing is a sweater, but it can certainly work with anything.
All I Really Want hysterical joke #2 - About halfway through the song Alanis switches gears and is sick of talking about all the stupid things she wants. She sings "Enough about me. Lets talk about you for a minute. Enough about you, lets talk about life for a while."
I don't use this joke nearly enough as I should, however, it was certainly a staple of mine back in the day. When I find myself rambling on and on about myself, I will say "enough about me, lets talk about you for a minute."
Now, here is the key to the joke... IMMEDIATELY when the person starts to talk about themselves, I scream "ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LETS TALK ABOUT LIFE FOR A WHILE."
I can not think of anything funnier than that.
In conclusion, thank you for some of the greatest moments of my life, "All I Really Want."
5 Star Songs *****
Head Over Feet - This catchy track is coupled with what I believe to be one of the worst videos of all time. This video makes Sinead O'Connor's video for "Nothing Compares to You" look like a Steven Spielberg blockbuster. The song, however, is just enough to compensate for this stupid, pointless video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iuO49jbovg
You Learn - One of my favorite sayings I use with my students, and in my own life is, "you live, you learn."
There is a line Alanis uses in which she preaches "you laugh, you learn." Well, this is my problem. In the eleven years I have been a teacher I have probably attended over 300 meetings (faculty, parent meetings, special ed meetings etc.) I have probably been caught laughing in just about all of them. I get in trouble, or get the evil eye every time, but I can't help it. I never learn my lesson of the inappropriateness of laughing at meetings, but I have accepted it as part of who I am, an fortunately most of my co-workers and bosses have realized that it is a lost cause and have simply learned to ignore me.
You Oughta Know - Yes this song has been rumored to be about Dave Coulier (Uncle Joey) from Full House. He admitted it, and Alanis admitted it (but later denied her confession and pleaded the fifth.)
Regardless of who it is about, simply put, it may be the greatest female song of all time. Her ability to use her voice as a weapon is electrifying You can hear the hate in her voice and imagine the things she is capable of doing. Alanis makes the girl from Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" look like little miss sunshine. Yes, ma'am thank you for reminding me of the mess I left when I went away. Now please leave me alone before I call the cops on your face.
Regardless of the nightmares you get after watching this video, the track is pure gold and the fact that Dave Navarro and Flea play the guitar and bass just adds to the debate for this being the best of all time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY
Ironic - Being an English teacher for years, I often considered using this song when teaching irony. The thing is, the examples Alanis gives, is not, technically irony. How ironic is that?
There are many critics out there that can not get over Alanis' false grammatical accusations. I, however, could not care any less. Alanis was not intending to teach us what irony was, she was simply having fun with a unique concept. Anyone that gets their panties in a bunch because it is not technically ironic if it simply "rained on someone's wedding day" can get a life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jne9t8sHpUc
Forgiven - I often ask myself what my favorite track on Jagged Little Pill is. Yes, often. If I took a poll of myself asking myself that question every day for a year, I am pretty sure that the winner would be "Forgiven." It was never released as a single, and I like it that way. I never had the chance to tire of it (except maybe when I played it 65 times in a row.)
"You know how us Catholic girls can be..."
Yes, Alanis, I do know. I went to a Catholic school for nine years, and I can assure you I know all too well how Catholic girls can be. Crazy. They can be absolute crazy lunatics, just like you. (No offense to any Catholic girls. I am a Catholic boy that even just visited the Vatican in Italy. Yes, mom, I did have a few beers while waiting outside of the Vatican, and you were not too happy about that, but that is neither here nor there.)
If this song doesn't make you feel some sort of emotion then you better check your pulse, because you might be dead.
It scares me, it pumps me up, it makes me think I'm crazy, it makes me love Alanis, it makes me love religion, it makes me love music, and it makes me happy to be alive. It is loud, abrasive, its in-your-face rock, and I often consider it to be my favorite female song of all time. And I loved Wilson Phillips. And Tiffany. A Lot.
Not only is "Forgiven" probably my favorite female song of all time, but for 18 years straight I have answered the following question with only one answer....
Question from curious music lover: "Ryan, what is your favorite note in music history."
Ryan: "Thank you for asking fellow music lover. The answer is quite simple... It is from Alanis Morissette's "Forgiven" and it comes near the end of the song. It goes a little something like this.... (I'm singing now, of course.)
"What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be Forgivennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
That "Forgiven" my friends, is my favorite note in music history. And I don't care how ridiculous you think that is. That will be my answer. Every day. Every time. Maybe for the rest of my life. Should it change, I will be the first to share it with all of you.
LISTEN TO THIS SONG.
For those of you that are SOOOOOOOOOO busy and do not have the 5 minutes to listen to this song, the part you may be looking for is 2:43 - 3:06 (with the actual note beginning at 2:59 and ending at 3:06)
All hail Jagged Little Pill
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